Yesterday I shared a post of someone in my Instagram stories and the post mentioned: “A sexually liberated woman is threatening to a patriarchal society.” Someone replied on that story asking me why I think that’s the case. Honestly, I shared that post in a whim. In a whim with full agreement and thus conscious of the meaning of the phrase. But also in a whim not thinking someone would respond on it. I didn’t think someone would ask for my clarification. ‘Damn it, now I had to sit down and take the time to give this person my arguments.’ Kidding. It’s actually a topic I like to talk and write about! But at that moment I was writing an article on astrology and self-realisation and I found myself in a flow, so I didn’t like the distraction. At first I replied to this person: I’ll get back to you later. I returned to writing my article. However, I was still distracted and my thoughts kept returning to his question. I felt the urge to write my answer. But there’s so much to say on this. An answer of three sentences wouldn’t suffice. So, here I am, 30 minutes later, writing another and completely different article providing not just this person but the world wide web with my thoughts on patriarchy, sexuality and WAP. WAP stands for ‘wet-ass pussy’ and is the title of the new song of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion (click here for the video).
The timing of the question on sexuality and patriarchy combined with the recent release of WAP couldn’t be any better. Because: Virgo season is about to start. The zodiac sign that is known for cleanliness, purity and virginity is about to be given rulership for the next few weeks. What better moment to write about two women rapping about rough sex? Even more so: astrology doesn’t serve a purpose if it doesn’t serve the greater good! Here is one of my attempts at serving the greater good and doing my part in the battle against patriarchy.
The duality of Virgo
In astrology there is this concept known as quadruplicity: there are three groups of four signs that have a modality in common. These three groups are the cardinal signs, the fixed signs and the mutable signs. I’m not going into detail on these three groups in this article. But I explicitly and with motive want to make a note on the modality of the zodiac sign Virgo. Virgo is one of the mutable signs. The other three mutable signs are Gemini, Sagittarius and Pisces. These three signs have one thing in common with each other that we don’t see reflected in the cardinal and fixed signs: they consist of two. Gemini is known as The Twins; the sign is dominated by the two bright and connected stars Castor and Pollux. Gemini is known for duality, in symbolism and characteristics. Sagittarius is known as The Archer embodied by the centaur: half human and half horse. Sagittarius symbolises how we humans are driven by both desire (primitive urges if you will) and rationale. Sagittarius is two beings being merged into one. Pisces is known as the Two Fishes. The two fishes that swim around each other like yin and yang. There is this spiritual quality to Pisces: each fish wants to merge with the other, the two want to become one. But at the same time every fish has the need to swim apart and to be alone. Duality is characteristic for the mutable signs. We can see the duality in Gemini, Sagittarius and Pisces; we see it in their symbolism and in the constellations. So… what about Virgo? Virgo is the virgin. Just one maiden, right? Where is Virgo’s duality? Virgo’s duality is definitely there. It’s hidden…
Every zodiac sign has different deities, stories and mythologies associated with them. Virgo has associations with Mother Goddesses like Ceres (click here for more info on Ceres) that are associated with agriculture and harvest. The Sun is in Virgo during the last weeks of summer, which is harvest season. Virgo thus has associations with Mother Goddesses related to the Earth and harvest; these Goddesses are often depicted carrying grains, just like Virgo often is. But, or and: Virgo is also strongly associated with ‘the’ virgin. Apart from Mother Goddesses we see virgin Goddesses or virgin beings associated with the constellation Virgo. The Greek myth of the young girl Parthenos is most strongly associated with Virgo. Parthenos actually is the Greek word for virgin. Goddesses that have been associated with Virgo are Athena and Artemis, both of them were virgins. Both of them made the choice of virginity over sexual intercourse, both were fierce warrior Goddesses and incredibly smart (they didn’t want to be admired for their sexuality, but for their knowledge and skills). Mother Goddesses like Ceres of course were not virgins. However, we have tendency to forget that motherhood is related to sex. There’s at least one woman who became a mother while being a virgin; she goes by the name Mary. She, the virgin Mother Mary, is often depicted in astrological art on Virgo. Not coincidental of course.
Even though we know very well that motherhood is a consequence of sexual intercourse; many people in this world still like to believe sexuality is wrong or dirty while motherhood is sacred and beautiful. This is not solely a christian ‘thing’. We see it in many different cultures, religions and this idea developed even before Christ was born. But let’s stick to the christian paradigm. Mother Mary the virgin has been honoured as sacred and pure; an example for all women. Mary Magdalene was a sex worker, who needed to be purified and needed to prove herself before she was considered not only worthy of devotion but worthy to be considered a christian. Point made.
The zodiac sign Virgo is known for qualities we would like to associate with a virgin, or a ‘pure’ or ‘good’ woman. Virgo likes to be of service to others and nurture others. Virgo is focused on cleanliness, soap is Virgo’s best friend. Virgo doesn’t draw attention, Virgo doesn’t demand to be pleased or applauded. The virgin offers her services in a quiet and respectful manner, always doing a perfect and clean job. Perfectionism, cleanliness and service: three words for Virgo. Virgo, thus, has an eye for the things that are wrong, imperfect or dirty. The faults in the self and the faults in others. The thing is… One can only have an eye for these things, if one knows about these things (thanks to Austin Coppock for pointing this out in one of the episodes of the astrology podcast). Or let’s phrase it the other way around. One can only know what’s clean, when one knows what’s dirty. And exactly here we find Virgo’s duality: the virgin is secretly a whore. Virgo is both Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene.
Virgo is always burdened. If it isn’t the burden of the judgement of society, than it is the burden of self-judgement. People who have prominent Virgo placements in their charts probably recognise this all too well. And I dare to say it’s more often the self-judgement and perceived (but not actual) judgement of others that burdens them. Virgo can be extremely judgemental of the self and others. Virgo can also be incredibly forgiving. Both, being able to judge hard and being able to forgive, stem from the knowledge that all human beings are perfectly imperfect.
Sexuality and patriarchy
Western societies are patriarchal. It’s foolish to think that feminism has served its job; thinking the right to vote and the availability of college education to women equal equality. They do not. It’s true that the position of women nowadays is far better than it was 50, 100 and even more years ago. But we are not there yet! Plenty of articles and books have been written that point out western societies are patriarchal. This article is not intended to become such a book. So let’s all agree and spare me the time, effort and letters of pointing it out: western societies are (still) patriarchal.
Men (white straight cisgender men) have held power over women for thousands of years. Men still are in power. Men raise themselves up by putting women down. I’m not saying all men are assholes. I’m not saying all men put women down, in the sense that every individual man does that. I’m talking about the male part of humanity in general and especially men in power. (Side note: women are equally guilty in sustaining patriarchy.)
How is sexuality related to all this? Men got power over women by claiming power over their bodies. Which is something they are naturally able to, being physically stronger. But there’s also something in the sexual act; a man penetrates a woman, he enters her body. Read that again: he enters her body. (Let the words sink in.) This makes a woman far more vulnerable, not just physically but also emotionally, than a man. On top of that, a woman can get pregnant. She needs to bare the consequences of sex, again being put in a vulnerable position, while men can walk away from it. (So, I’m talking vaginal penetrative sex here when I’m talking about sex here. Of course there’s plenty of other stuff to do in the bedroom and men can be penetrated too, but that’s not really relevant here. I’m writing about the traditional relationship between men and women and traditional sexual intercourse.)
Sexuality at the same time has been a source of power for women. Think of the Vesta priestesses / Vestals. In early Mesopotamia there were priestesses who used their sexuality for medicine and ritual work. Sexual intercourse was a sacred, religious and spiritual act. Soldiers coming back from the battlefield received the care of these priestesses for healing their physical, emotional and spiritual wounds. These priestesses were leaders in temples and attended to the sacred fires forever burning in these temples. These priestesses stood in very high regard. In later Ancient Greece we see the same kind of priestess work being performed in temples for the Goddess Hestia (her Latin and better known name is Vesta). But patriarchy kicked in. These Vesta priestesses lost their freedom. No more being the leaders of temples, they became priestesses of the sacred fires under the ruling of men. They still performed sexual rituals in the earlier days. In later days, and especially in Ancient Rome, these priestesses became known as the Vestal virgins. Their sexuality was taken from them. Read that again: their sexuality was taken from them. The Vestal virgins didn’t have rulership in their own temples, men had rulership and the Vestal virgins were working under their command. Because Vesta priestesses needed to be ‘clean and pure’ (and well sex apparently is a dirty thing). It was expected of the Vestal virgins that they didn’t partake in intercourse. Sex and romantic encounters were punishable by death. Of course you can imagine what happened with these women behind closed doors and against their will, just like what happens behind closed doors in churches. Sacred places aren’t always that clean…
Sex is an incredibly powerful thing. Sexuality is an incredibly powerful thing. Enhancing sexuality can give someone power. By taking control over someone’s sexuality one can diminish someone’s power. Sex is different for men and women. Women are more vulnerable when it comes to sex, just because of the physical dispositions. Which doesn’t mean men can’t experience vulnerability in sex, or that men can’t be abused. Let me state that. It also doesn’t mean women can’t take control over men or claim power through sex, because they definitely can. But in general when it comes to this sexual power play, men have their advantages.
Throughout history men have claimed control over the sexuality of women. This started long before christianity, but patriarchy definitely strengthened under the influence of christianity. Sexuality became a sin. Mother Mary became the perfect image for a woman: caring and clean. Sexuality entered the shadows of society. Sex work was no longer a spiritual practice, like in ancient Mesopotamia, but it became something sinful. According to the Church sex only served one purpose: procreation. Women were reduced to motherhood. Mother Mary being their perfect image. But what about Mary Magdalene? What about the Vesta priestesses? Sex was reduced to something useful for the human race. For women it wasn’t something pleasurable or spiritual anymore. Patriarchy had taken that from them. Because sex entered the shadow realms of society, women didn’t teach each other about sex anymore. That’s still how it is today: young girls are taught by their moms about the birth control pill and condoms (if they are lucky) but not about masturbation, the G-Spot and female orgasms or about the fact that safe sex is also about feeling emotionally safe and not just about condoms. Empowerment in sex isn’t just found in safe sex, it’s found in the pleasure of sex. Not only was the pleasure part of sex taken away from women: christianity taught us that sex is sinful. So even if a woman would be able to derive pleasure from sex, she would be doing something wrong. Mary Magdalene was only offered as an example for women because she exchanged sex work for a spiritual life. So apparently sex work and a spiritual life can’t go together?Which actually became true for not just women, but also for men. Men needed to restrain themselves too, according to the church. But they of course can’t, because ‘boys will be boys’.
Sexuality of women has been placed in the shadows over a period of centuries. Sex is okay if it leads to motherhood. Otherwise it’s something dirty and to be ashamed of. So many women have been burned at the stake for their sex appeal and sexual power. Women who enjoy having sex, women who have friends with benefits or one nights stands, and the like, are often being put to shame. While men can do the same and be applauded. Women are made terribly insecure about their bodies: you need to be not too fat and not too slim, you need to have enough curves but not fake ones, whatever. How can you ever enjoy sex if you worry about your looks? Women’s bodies have been objectified for far too long. Women’s sexual pleasure has been judged for far too long. A woman who’s able to enjoy sex and to have countless of orgasms and who’s able to ask for and manifest the sex that she wants to have, a sexually liberated woman, is goddamn powerful. By putting shame on sex and women’s bodies, women are made to feel small and insecure. Even worse, women are made to feel like they are there to pleasure men. Like that’s their first and foremost job.
Patriarchy has tremendous power of the bodies of women. Just watch the video ‘be a lady they said‘ (click here) featuring the brilliant Cynthia Nixon. If that video doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will.
The liberation of the Wet-Ass Pussy
I’m convinced that patriarchy has been established and is sustained by control over women’s bodies and women’s sexuality. The power of patriarchy is weakened when women reclaim power over their bodies and sexuality. Thus, yes: “A sexually liberated woman is threatening to a patriarchal society.”
Back to that song WAP, created by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion. It has received a shitload of criticism. Critics say things like ‘that’s no example for young teenagers or children’. It’s funny though that pretty much daily male rappers and other male musicians create songs with lyrics about sex, that are definitely not vanilla, sometimes even about rape; and these songs don’t receive criticism or definitely not the same amount. Young children listen to songs by male rappers about sex all the time, but suddenly it’s not okay when the song is produced by two women. Most criticism on WAP comes from the conservative right wing people. Which is of course not surprising.
Some self-proclaimed feminists also have critique on WAP. Which is rather hurtful for feminism. Feminism is all about equality, right? About every person (whatever gender, and also whatever race and the like) having equal rights and equal possibilities. About every person having equal opportunities given by society to live a meaningful and joyful life. And thus, also, about every person being able to have the kind of sex that one enjoys. I’ve had discussions with women who are of the opinion that, for example, bdsm is hurtful to feminism. However bdsm is based on consent (otherwise it’s not sex, it would be rape). If a woman desires to be bondaged or spanked, if it feels empowering to her, what’s wrong with her receiving that? As a feminist I wish that every woman in this world can experience the kind of sex that she desires; which can range from very vanilla to kink and bdsm, from multiple times a day to once a year or never, from with one partner to with many partners, etc.
So, in my opinion Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion rapping about choking, deep throat blow jobs and whatever, is very empowering. You don’t need to be into that; everyone has their favourite ice cream flavours, please don’t eat or don’t do anything you don’t like. But, they are into that and they are saying it loud and proud. Good for them and good for everyone of us. Because they are bringing sexuality out of the shadows and into the light. You don’t need to be a fan of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, you don’t even need to be a fan of rap music, to appreciate the fight against patriarchy of these two women. Like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez mentioned twitter: WAP not just stands for Wet-Ass Pussy, but as much for Women Against Patriarchy.
Virgo & Vesta: reclaiming sexual power
There’s one last note that I want to make. Back to Virgo. Earlier I wrote that Virgo is burdened. I would love so much for Virgo to be unburdened. For the duality to be accepted and embraced. For the dirty to become visual. For the virgin to be pure and to enjoy being fucked in the ass. For Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene to be one. Society is cursed with the burdens of Virgo. Every person has Virgo in their chart. We all have Virgo in our charts. We all know what cleanliness is only after having learned what is dirty (which we start to learn at a very very young age; these concepts are cultural heritage). We only feel the need to wash ourselves or ‘to rinse ourselves off our sins’ when we feel dirty or when we feel like we have done something wrong. I’m all for spiritual baths, cleansing rituals, holy rivers and such. But please, let’s all agree that dirty sex doesn’t leave stains on the soul, it just leaves stains on the sheets.
Next to the archetype of Virgo, I would like to place the archetype of Vesta. Vesta, the Goddess of the Sacred Fire. Without fire there’s no passion, no magic, no sex, no nothing in our human world. In ancient times women were honoured for the sexual spiritual rituals that they performed. Those priestesses that later became the Vestal virgins. Those priestesses were incredibly empowered. Sex work as a spiritual act. Or religious work that involved sex. However you want to phrase it, it was honoured. We need to go back to that. We need to honour and celebrate sexually liberated women. We need to empower female sexual pleasure. We need to empower consensual sex work. We need to celebrate the female body for all the beauty it possesses in whatever shape, colour or form. And every single woman on this planet should be able to feel safe and not be constantly harassed by men. And every single woman should at the same time be able to indulge in good sex and not feel ashamed for it.
Amen.
A few sources (though I honestly don’t remember where I picked up on most of the information shared in this article):
- The Astrology Podcast by Chris Brennan (several episodes)
- The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
- Asteroid Goddesses by Demetra George
- Ancient Astrology by Demetra George