See I never learned how to cope
The walls I had to climb
Leafs falling all the time
Even in the summer
See you never learned to let go
The paths you cannot control
Is weighing heavy on your soul
Lyrics: Never Learned How to Cope – Rimon
Link to the song follows below…
In the past year, 2021, I needed to take a good look at my coping mechanisms especially regarding relationships. This of course, took me back to my childhood. During summer of 2021, after a two year life rollercoaster and in the midst of another move, I felt like I couldn’t cope anymore. I felt like ‘I never learned how to cope’. Which isn’t true, I learned how to cope at a very young age actually; but it was a feeling that I had. Or more precisely: I never learned how to cope well, or effectively. Which actually also isn’t true, because many of my coping mechanisms did serve a good purpose in the past. But, last summer I had to acknowledge that it was time to change them, along with doing some healing work on old wounds. Thus I started seeing a counselor, and I started working on my sense of self worth. A few weeks ago I also signed up for two courses, offered by a love and relationship coach. Thus now I’m learning to identify my needs better and I’m learning to communicate them properly in relationships. If you want things to change in your relationships, you need to work on yourself first.
Anyways, in the past year I listened to this song by a Dutch artist, Rimon, on repeat. The lyrics may sound sad and depressing. But I actually found much comfort in listening to this song. Somehow, it felt like this song was an acknowledgment of my past and present pains, and of the stuff that I went through as a little girl. Listening to this song actually made me feel less alone and more understood.
Even though we may often feel like we fail at coping, often times we’re not doing so bad at all. It’s part of being human to make stupid choices. Sometimes we are just not capable of making the best decisions. Looking at my own personal life and reflecting on all client-stories: coping is a messy process. It’s something we sometimes fail at miserably; maybe when we grab to drugs or alcohol or whatever, or when we run away from our feelings and burry ourselves in work. But also when we fail at it, at least we’re trying to manage life. Life just isn’t easy. It just isn’t. And sometimes we don’t know how to cope with difficult circumstances. And that’s understandable, and normal and okay! The challenge then is… to pick ourselves back up, and try again. To keep trying. At the end of the day, we need to be there for ourselves. We don’t need to be there for ourselves in the most perfect way. But at least we need to show up for ourselves. And often times that means: seeking outside help. Which may be actual professional help, or it may be inviting a friend over for a cup of tea.
I do think we all have more personal strength than we realize. Deep inside our core, there’s a lot of strength. Human beings are very resilient. Our heart keeps going and starts to pump faster when we’re challenged by life. That’s Leo energy. Leo is connected to the heart. Leo is connected to the ego. Leo is that fire that burns inside us. Leo is that inner courage.
I choose to share artwork of the goddess Durga with this article. Durga is the Hindu goddess that’s related to courage and strength. We may call upon Durga when we’re faced with demons, whether those demons are outside circumstances or people hurting us, or whether those are our own inner demons. Durga is the goddess to go to when we need to cope in life. Durga is often depicted riding on a lion or, as on this image, with lions by her side.
Back to the song… Never Learned How to Cope by Rimon. You can listen to the album version, on Spotify or YouTube or whatever. But I actually recommend listening to this live version on YouTube. She recorded this live version together with another song: Feed Me. Feed Me is about being in this toxic relationship or in a challenging love entanglement. Craving for someone, going back to someone that isn’t 100% there for you, but being so intoxicated… It perfectly fits the Venus – Mars conjunction that is happening on the day of the Full Moon in Leo. Thus, after you’ve listened to Never Learned How to Cope, you might also want to listen to Feed Me. I not only love the sound of these live performances of both songs, I loooove the setting and the costumes too!
Listen to (and watch!): Never Learned How to Cope & Feed Me, by Rimon, on YouTube.
Full Moon: Coping as a joint effort of Leo and Aquarius
The Full Moon in Leo arrives on February 16th 5.56 pm CET / 11.56 am ET. The Moon at 27 degrees Leo opposes the Sun at 27 degrees Aquarius. The Full Moon squares the Nodes exactly; the North Node in Taurus and the South Node in Scorpio (which means we’re now in between eclipse seasons, and which means there’s a certain extra potency – or karmic quality if you will – to this Full Moon).
The past weeks we’ve been immersed in Aquarius vibes, with the Sun traveling through Aquarius in the presence of Saturn (ruler of Aquarius). Aquarius is an air sign. It’s a sign of the mind, of thinking, of the rational. Aquarius can be rather detached, ruled by Saturn at the outside of the solar system. Leo, the sign opposite to Aquarius on the wheel of zodiacal signs, is a fire sign. Leo is centered, ruled by the Sun at the centre of the solar system. It’s a sign of the heart, of passion, of creativity.
Aquarius thinks about life. It understands life through philosophy and science. Looking from the outside in. Leo does life. It understands life because it is the passion that fuels it. There wouldn’t be life without the Sun. Our mind (Aquarius) tries to make sense of life, but our heart (Leo) is the actual life force. Force, another word for Strength, the tarot card related to the sign Leo (in French the card is ‘la Force’). Aquarius in tarot is related to The Star. The Star is a card that is about Hope, about a positive future outlook. In order to effectively and meaningfully cope we need both: we need strength and we need hope. Coping is a joint effort of the heart and the mind. Coping is a joint effort of strength and hope. We might not feel powerful and we might feel quite hopeless in the circumstances in life that require coping. Because, let’s face it, it’s in the most challenging circumstances that we feel like hope abandons us and that there’s little personal power to change those circumstances. But it is exactly in those circumstances that coping is required. We don’t need much strength and we don’t need much hope. But coping does require at least a last exercise of strength and a drop of hope.
Venus and Mars conjunct the asteroid Vesta
On the day of the Full Moon in Leo, February 16th 2022, there’s an interesting meeting of several celestial bodies taking place. The Sun and Moon oppose each other on the Aquarius – Leo axis. And just next to Aquarius, out of sight of the Sun and the Moon, Venus and Mars meet in Capricorn at 16 degrees. I’ve written an extensive piece on the astrology of Venus and Mars of January – March 2022, you can read it here. Thus I won’t go into the Venus – Mars conjunction too much in depth here.
However, it’s interesting to note that the Aquarius – Leo axis is illuminated by Mother Moon and Father Sol, while at the same time out of sight of this parental pair Venus and Mars meet in Capricorn (taking the aspect rules of Hellenistic Astrology into account, the luminaries can’t witness what’s taking place in Capricorn on the day of the Full Moon). Venus and Mars are the lovers; the ones that in mythology had a sexual love affair and the divine pair that brought forth Cupid. Venus, just out of retrograde, rises now in the mornings as a beautiful bright and strong wandering star. Mars is exalted in Capricorn, which means that he is raised up for his fierce capabilities. The divine pair dances around each other these weeks, as they will form another conjunction early March (more on that in the article that I linked above). This is a passionate meeting of two celestial bodies.
The Venus-Mars conjunction takes place in close proximity to the asteroid Vesta (at 19 degrees Capricorn). Vesta (Roman) or Hestia (Greek) is the goddess of the sacred fire. It is spiritual fire. It is sacrificial fire. It is the fire that we may tap into when all hope seems lost – to go back to the the topic of coping. Vesta is the sacred fire in the ancient temples that was kept burning 24/7 no matter what; day after day and year after year. Vesta is the fire that burns in temples and in homes; the places where we find love; the places where we connect meaningfully with other human beings and with the divine.
Vesta is all about what warms our heart and the fire that continuous to burn no matter what. It’s about higher meaning, about spiritual values. Vesta is where we make sacrifices in order to give or find meaning, or to create something meaningful. Vesta is prayer. Vesta is practicing yoga alone in the early mornings. Vesta is sacrificing something in order to give back to the world. Vesta’s placement in the birth chart shows where and how we’re willing to sacrifice something, or where we attend to our personal sacred fire (fires burn only if we feed them), for something that’s even more meaningful.
Thus… While Mother Moon and Father Sol are having their own monthly meeting, Vesta is witness to the ‘secret’ meeting of Venus and Mars. Which makes me think that the Venus – Mars conjunction might turn out to be more sacred than we initially suspect…
Where this all takes place in your chart…
Thus… Looking at your own birth chart (if you have it, and if you understand it somewhat). The houses that contain Aquarius and Leo are illuminated on the day of the Full Moon. Illumination means (in)sight and clarity. Full Moons bring completion and understanding, sometimes fulfilment. Look at the houses that contain Aquarius and Leo to note the axis (and thus house topics) where some type of understanding or completion is taking place. And then look at the house that contains Capricorn. In that house, something else is taking place: a spark, something passionate, maybe even explosive, or pleasantly orgasmic, maybe raw, possibly painful, possibly also beautiful.
The Full Moon takes place at 27 degrees and hits personal placements between 26-28 degrees in any of the fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius). The Venus – Mars conjunction takes place at 16 degrees Capricorn and hits personal placements between 15-17 degrees in any of the cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn). If you have the ascendant, midheaven, Sun, Moon and/or ascendant’s ruler in those degrees in those signs; take note.